No good deed, etc.

They say "No good deed goes unpunished."

I've received two email responses from the esteemed Doctor Amen concerning this situation. He said (to paraphrase) "an experienced doctor can interpret results" -- which is, as I've said, complete bullshit -- because if that same experienced doctor doesn't know he's looking at peak level results instead of trough level results, he has no *clue* what he's seeing. He also said (paraphrasing again), "Your pdoc (psychiatrist) was trying to save your life."

And so he was. A kind, caring, generous man who was seeing me (with Dr. Amen's agreement) "pro bono" -- for free. A significant part of my depression was a downturn in my wife's and my finances. I won't get into that now. But I had sent emails to my pdoc saying I could no longer afford to see him. He called me out of the blue one day to tell me he'd gotten approval from Dr. Amen to see me at no charge. There's more to that part of the story, but it begs the question: Am I entitled to feel as though I was violated when the doctor was providing services for free and was seriously trying to help?

I have an unequivocal answer, "Hell yes."

Should his good intentions excuse his life-threatening negligence? I say, "Hell no."

He's a good man. A experienced, talented and caring man. A better man than I in many ways. Despite all that, he made a simple mistake. His negligent act violated the standard of care in prescribing Lithium. When I say, "I'm lucky to be alive", I'm completely serious. And any objective pdoc (psychiatrist) reviewing the history of my case would agree.

He intervened in a life and death situation and began treatment. A good thing. Unfortunately he didn't follow through with the protocol for establishing a therapeutic dose. He ended up doing no good at all (and, some would argue, made it worse).

I like him. He tried to do a good thing. He fucked up. I could be dead right now. What more can I say? In my place, how would YOU feel?